literature

Fall Apart

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SomethingSimple35's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

A terrible tragedy it is

To watch somebody that was always so strong

Fall apart.

A pillar of strength is not meant to fall

But still it happens.

To see her tear stained face

As she weeps openly about anything

And everything

That has ever done her wrong.

Sometimes she's just babbling nonsense

Other times

She's spilling her heart out to the world

And you know what?

No one's listening

It could be because

They don't know how to act.

This girl has always been strong

She held others up

They didn't know that she was slowly drowning

So they ignored her

And hoped she would stop.

Or maybe it was because

They didn't really care.

She was just another pest

That they had to deal with.

Everyone has their own agenda. And guess what? You're not on it

She asks for so little

And even that she doesn't receive.

Is it really any wonder

That she fell apart?
Comments5
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ToddNTheShiningSword's avatar
I decided, since your newest one is long because it's got 10 things from that Journal lit challenge, and since your oldest work is still new, that I'd start at the oldest and go up.

WOW THIS HAS A LOT OF VIEWS!

Good work on collecting views and Comments on this, because usually literature gets pretty overlooked on dA.

Wow.
This reminds me why I can't critique poetry well, but I'm still going to try, and I can think of at least one thing to say. :shrug:
I like how the words are spaced on the lines. Can't remember what that technique/practice is called... My favorite use of it is in the beginning, where the lines with the most punch are short and alone on their lines... At first I was going to say it felt weird when that stopped, but I won't now, because if that had kept going through a poem this length, it would have gotten, like, rhythmical in a way that a poem like this shouldn't, so that's good.
It's like this has 3 phases. That very first part, then the part where that stops and then a longer part with itallics coming in.

Everyone has their own agenda. And guess what? You're not on it

That's my favorite line here.
I wish I could say more, but I don't know how to critique poetry, so if I say anything more I'll just be putting out nonsense... :cry: